Another unstated but commonly believed heresy could be called spiritual neutrality. This doctrine says that the devil hates believers but rarely attacks them. Billy Graham is good, Adolph Hitler is bad, and almost everybody else is basically neutral. So don’t worry about anything, be happy with everything. Book a pleasure tour to Somalia – rates are cheap now.

Millions of American evangelicals have left their churches in the past two decades, and millions of American non-believers wouldn’t set foot in one, but you shouldn’t be alarmed. Relax, your church doesn’t need to change.

Satan wants to destroy us but he won’t try very hard, so you don’t need to be on your guard. Satan could use the mass media to harm us, but he rarely does. Relax, it doesn’t matter what you watch or hear.

Really, Satan rarely does anything at all, except in other countries, or on the other side of town. Satan can but won’t hurt you.

Your heart is desperately wicked, but you should still trust in it. After all, who else could you trust in if not yourself?