In the hard times, God gives oatmeal

A missionary became seriously ill one month before she was to return home for her furlough. On top of it all, the monthly check from her home church didn’t arrive, so she had no money for food or medicine. All she had in her apartment was a 50-pound sack of oatmeal. So for thirty days, that was all she ate.

And as she ate her oatmeal every day for a month, she cried out to God. “Lord, here I’ve been serving you faithfully on the mission field for years, and you said you would supply all my needs. Why have you allowed this to happen to me? Why didn’t you send me any money? Why didn’t you give me real food? Even the poorest people in this city eat meat and vegetables. Is this how you treat your servants?”
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Six degrees of Bob Jones

  1. Bob Jones was a famous fundamentalist leader who believed you should separate yourself from believers who haven’t separated themselves from errant believers.
  2. Bob Jones once met C.S. Lewis, and is supposed to have said, “That man smokes a pipe, and that man drinks liquor – but I do believe he is a Christian!”
  3. Fellow professor J.R.R. Tolkien (and Roman Catholic) was a major influence in moving C.S. Lewis toward Christ.
  4. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote “The Lord of the Rings.”
  5. Ian McClellan had a prominent role in three films based on “The Lord of the Rings.”
  6. Ian McClellan is an avowed homosexual and is active in the call for gay rights.

There you have it… from Bob Jones to Rome to gay rights… in just six degrees.

Christians poking fun at themselves

There is a fair amount of humor on the Web at the expense of conservative Christians, but Lark News is the funniest I’ve seen – funnier because it’s written by folks who know conservative Christians. And who love them, apparently.

I haven’t seen the latest edition, but some of my favorite fake headlines included:
Jack Chick buys popular comic strips
Man resigns job to listen to talk radio
Smells of Palestine enhance Christmas dramas

Secure, gated community – available now!

One day, as I watched the automatic gate close at my apartment complex, my mind wandered to other institutions that feature security gates. There is one in Huntsville, Texas, and one in Leavenworth, Kansas, for example. It helped me realize there is a difference between security and freedom. So I created a secure, gated community poster, to illustrate my point. I don’t live in a gated community anymore.

Weight Watchers Sudan Ltd.

In America, as many as 80% of fourth-grade girls are on a diet, even though only one quarter of them are overweight. In other countries, many people would love to get their hands on some good high-calorie food. That was the inspiration for this Lose Weight Fast – Ask Me How poster. Of course, World Vision is not responsible for this attempt at humor, even though I put their phone number on the poster. Hmm, I wonder how much it would cost to open a Weight Watchers franchise in Sudan….

Listening to the talking lama

My Methodist-Buddhist uncle asked if I would watch my grandma for a few hours so he could go out tonight to hear a llama speak. I complimented him on his interest in Peruvian culture. I was teasing him. He meant a lama, a Tibetan lama. A talking lama.

As Ogden Nash once wrote,

A one-l lama, he’s a priest.
A two-l llama, he’s a beast.
And I will bet a silk pajama
There isn’t any three-l lllama.

Be that as it may, I personally have never heard a talking lama or a talking llama.