Practical Universalism

Universalism is the heretical teaching that everybody will go to heaven, even if they don’t want to. Practical universalism (a heresy I invented one night when I was bored) is stricter. It means that if you want to go to heaven, you have to be sincere or you have to be religious. But that’s okay because everybody is sincere or religious, aren’t we?

No, we aren’t. Some of us are sincere, most of us are religious, many of us are neither, a few are both. Practical universalism assumes everybody is already pretty much okay, because they prayed a certain rote prayer sometime in their lives, or a reasonable facsimile thereof. So, in the end, practical universalism means the same thing as classical universalism. You are expected to go to heaven, like it or not. You are expected to become the bride of Christ, even if you’d rather become the bride of someone else.

A related heresy teaches that everything will always work out okay for everybody. Prayers will be answered even when we don’t pray. We can become just like Jesus even when we don’t care much about it. We can have the benefits of faith without having faith.

Edit: oh, we’re coming up with new doctrines all the time. How about parousial sanctification or proportional atonement?

4 thoughts on “Practical Universalism

  1. I’m single myself, so I know how it feels when you haven’t committed your life to someone else, humanly speaking. I wish I knew less about how it feels spiritually speaking.

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