Forget about the secret and lost gospels of Thomas, Mary Magdalene, and Judas. If 1st century Christians thought they were God-inspired, they would have made more than one copy of them, no? (Thousands of early copies of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have been preserved, in spite of official persecution from church and state).

No, there is another gospel, a different gospel with a greater appeal to conservative American Christians – and it’s even included in many editions of the Bible. A book that did not originate with Jesus or his apostles, and yet one that many American Christians find indispensable. Though the early church didn’t need it, we can’t get along without it.

I refer to the Book of Indices. Since the New Testament writers didn’t write one, we need to do it. Since Jesus’s teaching was not systematic enough for our tastes, we need to systematize it for him. We need to rearrange the Bible according to topics, because the arrangement that God used is sorely lacking.

Why didn’t God provide an inspired index to the Bible? Are we missing something? If so, I guess we can always fill it in ourselves.